Thursday, 2 June 2011

They've put the Voodoo on me!

We’ve come to notice a change in trends at the Consultancy this year when it comes to curses. Clients and customers approach us on a weekly basis claiming, sometimes legitimately, that they are under a curse. For the consultancy dealing with a genuine curse is a very rare thing, in all honesty I think we see two maybe three legitimate cases a year. Yet the number of people who believe them selves to be cursed never diminishes and the cause of the belief is always the same “I had a reading”.

Now, a run of bad luck, cross up conditions or closed roads doesn’t mean that someone has cursed you. There are numerous reasons these things can happen for example stress, illness, spiritual grime from being around the wrong people or place, day to day spiritual debris or God forbid just simply old-fashioned bad luck.

What interests us the most is how these Faux-curses come into being and what the people who approach us have been told. Here is an incredibly typical case study

Anne goes for a reading with Madame X, Madame X has an impressive advert loosely stating ambiguous qualifications and qualities and Anne books a reading with her. Madame X’s reading isn’t very long and doesn’t really pin point many facts about the person’s life. Madame X says deep and meaningful things to Anne like “you have been hurt in the past” and “there is some sort of tension in your relationship”. The reading begins to fizzle and Madame X asks “you have a questions don’t you?” “Yes” says Anne “Why are things going so badly for me?” and instead of saying “you need to change your job”, or “you need to consult someone about having a cleansing” Madame X says “you have been cursed!”. Now what is interesting about this is Madame X in her infinite new age wisdom can tell poor Anne what type of curse this is “It’s Voodoo” she says. "Your partners ex, mother in law, ex best friend (delete as applicable) has paid someone to do this"

Last year the folks that came to the store all had had a reading where they were told they'd be cursed and the only difference between this year and last year was the type of curse, last year the Romany Gypsies were the culprits, this year it’s the Voodoo’s. The Voodoo community in Britain is relatively small and there are not that many priests (Houngan’s) or Priestesses (Mambo’s) commercially working. There are a small number of Hoodoo’s working commercially and the two are still very easily confused. I know a great number of workers from other traditions in this country and they have strict ethical codes and don’t perform curses on request without excellent reason. So why Voodoo? Because there are still misconceptions? because its shocking and helps Madame X secure that extra tip? Or because it’s simpler than actually looking at the roots of the problem?   

If you receive a reading and you are told you are cursed think long and hard about it, get a second opinion and if you genuinely are cursed take the necessary step to having it removed. Spiritual baths, Novena candles and cleansing rituals all work to eliminate crossed conditions.     

This week we at the consultancy have become the accused! Claims laid that we have employed Wanga (the magic of Voodoo) to curse someone we have nothing to do with. The claim is ludicrous and hilarious, firstly the Lwa are not asked for things in our house unless it’s a personal matter. Secondly we have no reason to curse said person yet because she has had a reading and knows about the religious convictions of members of the consultancy she has assumed it is us! We operate a strict ethical code at the consultancy and although we are perfectly capable of throwing curses its very rare we do.    

Uncrossing bath

To remove a curse try this, bring 13 cups of water to the boil and add to it 1 handful of the following, Agrimony, sage and hyssop and as it boils recite psalm 69 over it. Remove it from the heat and allow it to cool, once cool strain the mixture into a large bowl and add a handful of rock salt to it. Stand in a bath tub and pour this mixture over your head in seven parts. Perform this bath for seven days and the jinx should be removed. You should then look at your protection to make sure this doesn’t happen again    

1 comment:

  1. In my opinion readers that do this sort of thing for the sake of it are acting completely unethically and unprofessionally. Not only do they give the rest of us a bad name, falsely accuse people and terrify the client they often "cry wolf" so often that if they happen to have someone who is genuinely cursed the chances that they will actually be believed are remote. Worse of all are the ones who later offer to remove said mythical curses (for a fee of course!) I guess one positive, quite apart from the fact that the person can use your bath and avoid throwing good money after bad, is that eventually they will get a reputation for shouting hex everytime they get a confused reading and people will stop using them.